Staying on Track With Your Goals

Almost as soon as you decide to make a change in your life, obstacles will appear to test your commitment to your goals, often in the form of conflicting priorities. To keep on the path and reach your destination, it’s essential to have an accurate map, a reliable compass, and a workable plan.

Be clear about what you want

What is the outcome you’re seeking? “Getting in shape” is too vague. Do you want to fit into a pair of jeans you used to wear or keep up with your grandchildren for two hours at the beach or run a mile without being out of breath?

Think of something specific and measurable that will tell you when you have realized what you set out to do. Now you have a reference for making moment-to-moment decisions that will move you closer or farther away from your goal. “Should I take the stairs or the elevator?” “Should I order the chef salad or the hamburger?”

Remember why you’re doing it

A compelling “why” will provide the motivation that propels you on the road to mastery. What will you be able to do or have when you achieve your goal? The vitality to pursue your dreams? The satisfaction of accomplishing something difficult and worthwhile? The confidence that you can meet a challenge and succeed? Make a list of the “goals behind your goal.”

Also, think about how you want to feel as you work toward your goal. Acknowledge the courage, dedication, focus, and integrity you are cultivating. It makes the effort a reward in itself so that you’re already winning even before you approach the finish line.

Smoothe the path to action

Create strategies that make it easier to say yes. The fewer steps it takes to practice the behaviors you want, the greater the chance of success.

Commit to specific time or situational triggers that support your goal. For instance, put your aerobics or yoga class or gym workout on your schedule like any other important engagement. Plan to go for a walk right after supper. Pack your workout clothes before you go to bed.

If you want to trim down, eat an apple or banana before you have dessert. Drink a glass of water before you have coffee, tea, or soda. Use a smaller plate, cup, and bowl than you used to. You get the idea.

Congratulations on taking steps toward the life you want to live. May you discover strengths you didn’t know you had along the way!

Copyright 2010 by Eugene Y. Smith, III. All rights reserved.

Move toward love, not away from fear

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about motivation—why we do what we do—and it boils down to two things: love and its opposite, fear.

Fear is reactive; love is creative. Fear comes from a place of lack; love issues from abundance. Fear is exhausting; love is energizing. And perhaps most important, fear is concerned with survival; love is about being alive.

So here’s my encouragement: move toward love, not away from fear.

Notice moment by moment what’s driving your thoughts and behavior. Is it love or fear? Things may look exactly the same on the outside, but the energy, the experience, will be completely different.

Say, for instance, I want to get in shape and I make a resolution to walk for an hour three times a week. Sounds good, right? But why do I want to do this?

Is it so I’ll have the energy to accomplish the things that excite me and make the world a better place? Is it out of respect for the marvelous being that I am? Is it a joyful expression of my strength and power?

Or is it because I’m unsatisfied with who I am? Do I think getting in shape will make me more worthy somehow? Will I transform myself into someone more acceptable than I am right now?

How do you tell whether you’re doing things from love or from fear? One way is to see whether you’re trying to control yourself. If you’re trying to control yourself, you’re operating from fear.

From an early age we’re trained to be afraid of who we are.

I don’t believe babies compare themselves to other babies or have thoughts like “I should be crawling by now. What’s wrong with me?” or “Am I asking too much? I don’t want to be a bother.” or “God, I’m fat! I hate my body.” They just seem to have an endless unselfconscious fascination with the world around them.

As we develop, we are socialized by the giving or withholding of approval and when we are small and dependent, acceptance means survival. Pretty soon, we’ve internalized our trainers and we have an onboard guidance system that asks, “Who do I have to be so that you will love me?”

I have spent much of my life living from the belief that I am not enough. It hasn’t made me a better person. In fact, I would say there isn’t any such thing as a “better person.” Instead, it has been a tremendous obstacle toward experiencing the strength, the truth, the beauty of who I am. How about you?

Starting today, just observe with clarity and compassion what’s motivating you, moment by moment. Don’t resist what you see and don’t try to change it yet. Accept that this is part of being human, part of being you. No need to be afraid of being afraid.


Copyright 2010 Eugene Y. Smith, III. All rights reserved